Speaking exclusively to The Worcester Independent Observer after his acquittal on assault charges, Irishman Eddie Homes was keen to clear his name.
"I was leaving Mrs Miggins' Pie Shop on Station Road when I was subjected to verbal abuse by Mr Culvert: naturally I thumped the little fecker".
"Mr Culvert has since apologised for the insulting remarks and has accepted that my large weight is a result of a hormonal disorder and not my love of pies".
Other stories from The Worcester Independent Observer:
"Sven seen shopping in Worcester".
"Local Newt group disbanded".
"Bush stolen from park".
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