Windfarm threat to homes.

The idyllic village of Nether Petherton in Devon is under threat following proposals by multinational energy conglomerate ARSE Renewables to install 50 wind turbines on a site known locally as 'The Farm'.
The turbines, each 300 feet tall, would, according to ARSE, generate enough green power for 25,00 homes.
However local opposition is gathering strength. Speaking on behalf of the local group, ' No ARSE in Petherton', Charles Parker (MBE) stated that ' On-shore windfarms are increasingly shown to be unreliable and financially viable only because of massive subsidy'. ' There are only 300 homes in the area most of which are within 2Km of the proposed site'.
Local farmer, Roger Windfall, who owns most of the proposed site, stated ' I am in in favour as I will be able to retire and collect the income from ARSE. I hate farming anyway'.
Speaking on behalf of ARSE Renewables, PR Consultant Roger Rogerson said ' We are simply following UK Government policy and anyway there is no noise pollution, visible impact nor negative affect on property values'.
Local Green Party representative Martha Twatt stated 'This is great news for the planet and I live miles away'.

Melchester boss sacked.

In a shock move, Melchester owner and local businessman, Luther Vandross , announced the decision shortly after Melchester finished second in their division.
The club issued a statement thanking Mr Williams for his service.
Meanwhile Melchester are desperate to keep Brazilian star Carlos Cashinio who has made it clear that he wants to move to be nearer his family( in Sao Paulo). Local rivals Grantford Utd are favourites to sign the player should he leave. Speaking exclusively to The Melchester Argus , Cashinio stated 'This move is nothing to do with money'.

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Football latest:

Grantford Utd 0 Melchester 1 (Cashinio pen 67 minutes).